The story of two teenagers from the Pskov region of Dennis M. and Catherine V. more like a bad script of a movie. The pair ran away from home, but when the girl’s mother discovered the lovers and tried to return the daughter home, young man wounded a woman in the leg from a traumatic gun. After the incident, the students fled outside the city, in the country of parents of Catherine. Naturally, the police quickly found the teenagers. Arrived on the place a couple of guards opened fire from the weapons that took out the broken safe. All events with young people was broadcast on the Internet. In the last video Katya and Denis said goodbye to his many viewers. Later it turned out that the guy shot the girl and then killed himself. Aify asked of the candidate of psychological Sciences Elena Giniatoulline to study the videos, which still can be found in the public domain, and to understand the causes of the incident.
On the verge of life and death. Psychologist about how to save a teenager from suicide
There is no escape?
Natalia Kozhina, Aify Elena, teenagers accused in the incident of the parents. Kate, in particular, told me that her family was allegedly assault. Do you think the parents — the only reason? Or is there something else?
Elena Giniatullin: We can’t draw conclusions about the physical abuse in the family, because we have no objective information. However, I want to note that almost 100% of teenagers, no matter what favorable conditions they may grow up, blame the parents lack of understanding, lack of love, attention, etc. When someone pointedly closes the door to the room, someone repaints the hair, someone leaves the house. Such emotional outbursts characteristic of children.
Frankly, I’m discouraged by the nonsense going on. Judging by the phrases the young man a very exaggerated idea of punishment. He constantly says that they go to jail for 25 years, though really in this situation, law enforcement agencies likely would cost some half measures. I have the feeling that Denis, and Kate really want to get hurt. They themselves cheat, repeating that there is no escape. Again, such behavior is characteristic of many children: no one understands me, I’m one-on-one with the world, etc.
“What to do”. No one suggested Pskov “Bonnie and Clyde”, how to survive
— I also got the impression that the situation is somewhat exaggerated, the children use some memorized phrases: “we mentally murdered”, “parents have destroyed our psyche”…
Personally, I wonder why they deprive themselves of life. It looks like some kind of bad play, not the sincerity, of real suffering, all strained and exaggerated. This is evident in the manners of teenagers. Invented some three packs of cigarettes that they smoked because I was nervous. But in fact, they don’t suffer. The real reason for the suffering there.
What is known about the police shooting by students?
— Maybe Kate Dennis, like many modern teenagers, just wanted to be heroes of the Internet?
— Of course, it is good to read. When we live in a small God-forsaken town, it is a way to finally draw attention to themselves: “Oh! Us is listening to Moscow”.
Still notice that in this pair Denis — the leader. Let’s say, a generator of ideas. Should he say something, the girl quickly changes his point of view and obey him. And the young man there is some cruelty. He calmly shoots, although not everyone is capable of. The one who never held weapons in their hands, did not commit any violent acts, not to shoot. It does not feel fear. It’s quite typical for a child left to himself. When I worked with asocial (dysfunctional families, parents drink, etc.), they all had one feature — independence. A child who is raised in a family which is somehow taken care of adults, 90% will be puzzled by the fact that my parents have to say. Out of fear of punishment and deprivation of privileges, attention, love, most would not have done what he did this boy.
I want to draw your attention to a phrase that Kate writes in his farewell letter: “it is my conscious choice.” In fact, the girl is not fully aware of what she’s doing. If she had to shoot him, she wouldn’t do it 100%.
Indicators of suicide. How to understand what your child thinks about death
Look, I took the gun!
— Despite the fact that the boy is very independent, yet it seems to me that he didn’t plan to go that far, just at some point things got out of control. What do you think?
— There is no strategic plan in advance was not. The boys were situational. Once something happened, they began to worry, made a decision. Teenagers thought of developments, but not as adults but as children who’ve seen too many movies about Bonnie and Clyde, and decided that it’s cool. In the end, we see the boyish, reductio ad absurdum: there is no value of life, no respect for this life, no awareness.
You know, I once lived in a small town, and there was a time when I knew everyone who left the cinema. There were no new experiences. And people are different: someone calmly accepts such gray days, and someone wants outrageous and shake. The last is very necessary activity.
Death is a demonstrative statement of its position. The same society: “Look, I can leave. Look, I took the gun!” Even this is partly a study of the world. Remember, as a classic: “am I a trembling Creature or the right?” When the guy shot the girl, he already had no choice, he is aware.
Children’s aggression. Modern children have no understanding of the value of life
Elena, is it possible to identify the tendency of the child to aggression in time to stop her?
— Of course. This autoaggression, when the child is able to beat or condemn ourselves, and increased verbal aggression when he snaps, and fights. Such things you need to keep track of to talk on this subject because of certain behaviours there is always a reason. Usually it is the lack of love and attention. The child will not become aggressive if he truly love. But often we see only imitation love. And in our society it is accepted to raise convenient children not to climb, not touched, not talked were the cogs in the system, etc.
Aggressive boys and girls is seen. They always show themselves. Girls are usually verbal: gossip, scandals, tantrums. The boys — physically, e.g. in fights.
But in this particular situation what happened (especially with a boy), there was a flash of aggression. On his face, the eyes, the way he’s holding the camera says, I see the confidence and peace of mind. No, it’s not some kind of desperation. Though, maybe, in the end it became apparent…
— I think that his role in what is happening was played by alcohol…
— Perhaps because alcohol is a potent poison, especially for children’s psyche. If you remember the laws of 70 years, alcohol was equated to drugs. But in the 90s the perception was changed, it turned out that alcohol is not a poison at all, there is some dose in which it can be drunk. Our children picked up on it. Actually, it is very misleading, which is obvious, if you examine serious medical research.
What to do if a teenager is rude, lying and ditching school?
— Now you mentioned Bonnie and Clyde, with whom they compared themselves teenagers, why do you think society often happens glorification of murderers?
— It’s ironic, but the murder in our society is often identical to the heroic deed. To deprive yourself of courage, because in most cases, people cherish it.
But take already known to us Bonnie and Clyde. Few of us know the true story of these criminals, which is nothing but blood, pain and violence was not. These children are no exception, they had in mind was a simplified, distorted romantic image of murderers. Unfortunately, such devices are fixed, picked up EN masse and destroy them very hard. And any teenager needed heroes, people that he can look up to.
“Control” from a student. 15 years of “quiet” started shooting in school
— What determines the choice of this character? From the environment in which a child grows?
— From society as a whole. The case of Pskov teenagers shows how distorted our values. And all this filters through the media, through the Internet. It began not today. Remember the 90’s, which were filled with movies about murders, fights. The plot essentially was the same: some cool guy has saved everyone by killing opponents. Question: what formed these paintings you have in mind, I have a whole generation? The violence is good.
I do not tire of repeating that children are a reflection of our society, those diseases, those distortions, the hypocrisy and lies that are happening now. They absorb everything, swim in our information flow. And the flow create what we, adults, its prohibitions, judgments, actions, words. And their double standards, of course: “You don’t smoke, don’t drink. But I’m gonna grab a drink and smoke a cigarette, because I’m an adult. I can kill, to hit, you can’t, you’re a little more”.
— Many suicides are really want to in the end saved them. You see this desire in teenagers?
— Hard to say. From the girl I have a dual feeling, she seemed to be very much the lies of despair and she had convinced herself that all will definitely be bad.
The boy is very distant, cold and closed person. It is another feature of antisocial children. It is important that they do not know how to read to parents once again did not cling. People grow up with very strong armor.
In addition, at their age there is often accentuation of character: it is normal for a certain age period pronounced features. For some, it may be more resentment, someone demonstrative, someone has a penchant for suffering, etc. Over time, they flatten, flatten. If not, we get antisocial, conflict children or adults closed, etc.
On the brink. What pushes teenagers to commit suicide and how to save them
— I think that this story is not the last. As you consider whether adolescent followers?
— Most likely. Some kid, somewhere far away from Moscow, after seeing this video, I will perceive it through the prism of their values, and it may come to the same ending. Therefore it is very important to remove these videos from the Internet. And in such situations it is important to be as objective as possible, not to appreciate these guys, not to say that they are, say, stupid or not to blame parents. In our society love to immediately tear to pieces label: either they are heroes or they are criminals. It’s a terrible trend that is especially evident on various talk shows. But who are we to judge? Much more important to think that we (those who survived) can do in this situation is that these adolescents appeared followers. Do not take this as a spectacle, this pain should give us the impetus to development.