photo: Alex geldings
I was complaining to a friend — selfish to the bone — which my wife is selfish.
Friend complained of his brother-idiot, what a stupid they have a sister.
A brother of a friend complained scoundrel-chief for incompetence in governing the country government.
The government complained about the stupidity of the citizens.
What has changed in my life after these complaints?
Left to complain to God. God himself. He misses, creating the world in seven days. It was necessary carefully, without haste, to spend on this process at least a year… But then what would we complain about?
Millionaire and billionaire
Met the millionaire and billionaire. Sigh, lamented the hard life. Hard to say, especially in the days of crisis, to preserve and increase material wealth. And General the millionaire and billionaire few. All the difference social position makes itself felt. Have publicaly about this and that, about their everyday concerns — and went in different directions. Very, very different concerns from both. Very different.
And here’s the king of a Big country has attacked a neighboring country, named Gulkin Nose, and conquered it. Captured additional territory. It would seem that rooted space. And in General, to take possession for the benefit. Even though small. After all, the conquered country was small. But tiny this won terravista so worsened the climate of the great powers that the king was not happy about the seizure. From gulkin Nose was runny, and now citizens of the vast country constantly sneezing, coughing and ache.
The international situation
There were once two powers. The first accuses the second: it de knocks her off stride hacker attacks. The second vinyl in the outbreak of the first climate wars, in which occur the flooding of fields and gardens, crops, and personal possessions. Both charges were equally baseless and absurd as not devoid of hypothetical grounds. The rest of the country swinging between guilty-suspicious items as ice floes in the hole, too, Willy-nilly fall into the unsteady spinability and the uncertainty of anything and anybody. Used it frankly made no secret of their hostility to the world some really undermine the foundations of peace the terrorist group. Their flea, but at the same time sensitive to the bites, worried locked in a serious battle colossi. Little evil was a serious competitor to the big evil. The result was a global celebration.
The milk had an aftertaste anastasescu.
Oil of palmacosta.
The vodka — gnarled.
The calf — Neftyanoi.
Yes, and the consumer was simbiose-synthetic.
Good to be smart?
Is happiness to be smart?
Or even the smartest?
To fool fools? And not being able to find any suitable companion? Besides, when you’re smart, you do not want anyone to mess with. Why? It is boring. Be the first and only. That is worthless.
As happy as was sported zobaczenia! Jumped around a housewife, strove to lick in the face, ran along the pond, scaring the ducks and floating sedately strolling people, returning, rubbed against the legs of the lady, again sped away and ran back… Not knowing, looking at her sympathetically. Condescending. Dismissive. Down. Mutt… picked up out of pity. Plebeia. Next to pedigreed Pets walking. Sucks. Parvenus. Second grade — just the fact of its origin.
A visit to the fool
From the fool lot of things you can hear. Smart silent — out of delicacy, caution, fear to offend, is a fool will blurt out without even thinking about it.
I had an affair with a girl. I was very fond of her. She felt the same.
Went out of town to visit my friend, the fool. He came up to me and asks:
— With whom she Coos on the phone on the terrace?
— What’s that?
— Yes, she says, “And I love you too and kiss you.”
The fool opened my blinkered eyes. On the true state of Affairs.
The wife cooks
I had an affair with the wife of the chef. Babeshko, do say so myself, though clockwork. But because of the history with her, I penetrated into the secrets of culinary magic. Visited the house, whose sauces and other kitchen delights bastard gourmets. Here’s what I learned: he doesn’t shower for months, not washing hands, dirty hands (he loves to pick your nose) grabs the food… It is about all of this I disgust told in moments of intimacy.
Since I stopped going to restaurants.
Geography, politics and Russian language
Live in Cologne the waiters.
In Botswana bot on Svan.
In Igarka garnaut.
Jack London never in London, never been.
Biden chases the canoe.
He forgot that it is necessary to bite, to sting. To drink the blood. How many, days, nights, hours he could survive? Doomed!
A woman after a night with a strong man
It was so cold, like a machine, trading fogged banks Pepsi-Cola.
A hero of our time
Were not inflexible. And so he survived.
I told him: “Go on …” And he died. He probably misunderstood me.
Well, what hurts your heart, then you have it.
That’s why I love dead… Dead bad to say.
She congratulated me on the 8th of March. And said that I was a woman. Thin a woman is. Language I — broom. As the last (or first) gossip girl.
Another said that I valeu hips. And dressed like a cheap slut. What I’m going after clothes, I need a manicure and a Perm.
What else could she say? If she’s in character and manners — a man. Rude and uncouth. Boorish.
And I — Yes, a handkerchief, which whiffed. I — vest, in which to hide. I blotter that absorbs secrets and tears. What to do if mild character: I’m a pushover and not standing erect penis. Such is my role in life.
And in the theatre and cinema I play heroes-lovers, supermen, that’s my appearance.
Forgive Me, Lord
Lord, make it so that all ended well. I’m sorry, Lord, I will only respond to phone call. Yes, Yes, otkroyte in full. Forgive me, Lord, if only all ended well. Make it so that all ended well that’s worked out. Sorry, distracted for a moment: Yes, Yes, Marina, as agreed, at 14.00. Now, Lord, what was I talking about? Help me, please. Make it so that everything ended well, excuse me for a second. How to repeat: athruithe in full. Yes, Yes, Marina, as agreed. So, God is counting on You. Thank You, Lord. Yes, at 16.00. Forgive Me, Lord.
Evolved so successfully that he became afraid. Does not happen constant positivity and success.
The main thing — time to stop. Silent. Not to run.
After returning from vacation, I told the chief:
— Nobody needs a vacation.
And paused. Did not continue. And wanted to say: “no man needs a vacation so badly as the man who returned from vacation…”
Not a patriot
Patriotism is too high for me feeling. I haven’t grown. I have something simpler: to get on reception to the doctor and eat. Of course, this animals, sordid, selfish, selfish instincts. But that’s just me — narrow-minded and primitive, not sublime. Besides, I have a suspicion (but I’m, suspecting the worst in people) that the ones who shouts the loudest and calls to patriotism, have the opportunity to consult a good doctors and not eat what is offered to everyone else — not patriots. This is correct and logical: the patriots should get the best medical care and nutrition than not patriots. Against this I have nothing and don’t mind. But that little bit, which is not the patriots, give me the full amount.