Day sexless kindergarten, where there are no “boys” and “girls”

The gender equality bill is lying motionless in the Duma since 2003. One of the authors Vyacheslav Volodin recently voted to reanimate it, to discuss and adopt.

The authors of the law propose to introduce equal wages to men and women for the same work quotas on party lists and in every possible way to increase the role of women in the country.

The concept of “gender equality”, however, is much wider than the proposed measures. Among other things it includes, for example, equal rights not only of men and women, but also representatives of different sexual orientation.

Among EU countries the highest rating of gender equality in Sweden. In Sweden there is an unusual kindergartens. We would call them asexual. The Swedes say, gender neutral. The journalist “MK” visited this kindergarten and saw how it all works, and tried to understand why such places need to the Swedes, and why they strive for gender equality.

Sweden topped the ranking of EU countries according to indicators of gender equality. Photo:

Kindergarten “Nicolaigarden” is located in the heart of Stockholm on the island of Gamla Stan. In Russian it means Old town. Narrow winding streets, cobblestones, three-and four-storey colorful houses, tourists, shops…

“Kindergarten here for a hundred years, — says Director Lotte, Rialin. — Previously it was a very poor area, there were prostitutes, they left for the night to work, and the children were left alone. For these children the Church was opened in this house.”

The building, which houses the “Nicolaigarden”, three floors. The room is not very comfortable for baby, but the house is too old to rebuild.

On the upper floors is so steep spiral staircase that I don’t know how the kids at her down-lift. But there is access to the roof — there is a wonderful Playground, greenhouse, in good weather, children play and walk here.

Rooms are small, mostly isolated. The decor is modest. Along with the regular kindergartens for colored balls, toys and pictures here and there flashed the rainbow flags of the LGBT community.

Beds not; if someone wants to sleep on floor mats with cushions.

Tables and chairs are.

With Lotte we went in a group of toddlers. Despite the tender age, they were sitting on these little chairs and eat these little spoons. Next to a guy on his haunches, sat the Pope helped. Lotta explained: he’s new. Dad comes with him, so he was used to and was not afraid.

The patio at the children’s garden is also tiny. Walking there isn’t any, so the teachers walk with the children for a walk in the city. Wear before going pink vests on themselves and children, with the inscription “Nicolaigarden”. All immediately clear: they are a group.

In the Old town four kindergarten. Three private. “Nicolaigarden” — the only municipal. But parents in Sweden and pay for municipal kindergartens. The monthly fee is 1200 CZK. For our money it is about 7500 rubles. a significant Sum, but for the Swedes is not that big. Minimum salary is 20 thousand kroons and the average is 37-38 thousand, However, on taxes and the “communal” goes to 40%, but they have very good social security, free education, health care, care for disabled and elderly people.

“Nicolaigarden” about 100 children from 1 year to 6 years. They are divided into 5 groups of approximately the same age. In each group from 10 to 30 people. Educators — more than twenty. One teacher — no more than five children.

Teachers speak 15 languages. Men and women, young and old, of traditional sexual orientation and non-traditional, Christian and Muslim…

“Nicolaigarden” — the first Swedish kindergarten, certified LGBT community in the face of the National Federation of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people, was founded 77 years ago. Non-traditional families drive their children there, but generally the garden is not for them, there children from all types of families. Including children of immigrants from Muslim countries who are massively in recent years came in Sweden.

Director Lotte, Rialin.

The influx was last winter. To accept immigrant children, Lotte additionally hired staff. The immigrant parents explained, “what we do here and how they think, and what is it — democracy.”

“Parents don’t all agree with me,’ she says. But I have power. I tell them: “In Sweden we do so.” The boy wants to dance in a pink skirt? If he wants, let him dance. In Sweden — so”.

Immigrant parents see that with kids nothing bad happens: they are not corrupt, do not teach bad. Once the children are happy, go into the garden with joy, the parents calm down. “They trust us, says Lotta. But he added: ‘To some extent”.

Despite the close quarters, Lotta was given a room for immigrant parents. There is a computer, a coffee, a staff that speaks their language. They come to learn not only about children, but everything for them is unclear. Bring, for example, pregnancy tests. Ask how to use.

When a child is accepted into kindergarten, parents fill out the questionnaire: who they are, where they live, what language they speak, whether the child allergic to anything…

“We used to have in the questionnaire were two lines: name and mother’s name and surname and the name of the father, says Lotta. But we have kids who have moms, but there are two fathers. Or four fathers. Therefore, we changed the form of questionnaire — there is now just the string “Parent”.

I was wondering how to get one child in four father. “There were two, then they divorced, married other men. The child is also the opinion of their fathers, explains Lotte. — We see the problem here, but the children perceive such things naturally”.

While we talked, returned to the educator — thirty, a kid in glasses with three extremely active children years four. After the walk before lunch was time for the games, and they are very energetically began to build something out of blocks.

Quality educational games and toys in “Nicolaigarden” in bulk, but in addition that you can buy in the store, and there is an unusual, specially made rag doll. They are white and dark — like with different skin color and with different expressions on their faces. Doll-surprise-doll-joy, resentment, anger, laughter… “With these dolls, children learn to ask themselves the same emotions and manage them,” explained Lotte.

Still a lot of children’s books. Mostly in Swedish, but there is Arabic for immigrant children.

Books here a selective approach. Need those in which: a) reflects today’s real life society and b) not supported stereotypes about men and women. From children’s classics are suitable, for example, Astrid Lindgren’s books because Pippi Longstocking — Slayer gender stereotypes, and “the Little Prince” Exupery, because there the boy is not macho.

But there is in “Nicolaigarden” and the brand new books, purposefully working to strengthen in the children’s consciousness the ideas of gender equality.

These books produces by the Swedish publishing house “Olika-press”. The stories they have are very simple. For example, children are worried by the fact that the uncle, the neighbor is sitting and crying on the bench. First wonder why. Then approach and ask, what happened to him. He says that tomorrow I see my daughter not seen for many years, so crying from happiness. Children calm down and so happy for him. It was the end.

“It is unusual that a man cries, — explained Kristina Henkel, one of the founders of the publishing house. — It destroys the stereotype. After all in children’s books always crying women: they are weak. While men are strong and determined, they do not cry.”

The word “olika” in Russian translates as “different”. The message here is that all people are different, but the rights and possibilities all the same. Girls don’t have to be weak and to wear pink. And the boys don’t have to be strong and not to wear pink. All can do everything.

The publisher is overlook children’s books about white parents with black children, about non-traditional families, about all sorts of physiological things that can be uncomfortable to explain to children. Among the heroes featured wheelchair users, migrants, Muslims, Christians, Buddhists, hippies, people of all colors, shades and orientations.

“These children’s books are in demand,” said Christine Henkel. From a business point of view the venture was a success.

In such “tolerant” dolls the children play in the “Nicolaigarden”.

■ ■ ■

The principle of gender equality — a part of Swedish policy. He realized not only in kindergartens and almost everywhere.

In Sweden even has a Minister of gender equality. “We have the world’s first feminist government, proudly said OSA Rayner, who now occupies this position. — Of women Ministers, one more than Ministers-men. Making the budget proposals, the Ministers explain how their suggestions will work for gender equality”.

The result of this policy is a strong economy of Sweden. Expenditure and employment are growing every year. GDP per capita in Sweden in 2015 grew by 3.4% in 2016 has grown by another 2% in 2017, which had gained 1.4 percent. This is a very high performance. Especially if you compare with our economy, where GDP only falls and falls.

Economic growth — the main impetus of the struggle for the equality of men and women. Because if women sit at home and do not earn, they do not pay taxes, and it turns out that the society does not use the same potential for development, which he has. It’s like riding a Bicycle, but to push only one pedal, and the other is not to touch.

The main obstacle to gender equality is rooted in the people stereotypes. Men should be strong, women are beautiful. Men are supposed to provide for the family, women bear children. Men must fight and protect, women to cook and to please men. And so on.

Not to say that the Swedes are such stereotypes are completely outdated. A lot of people still are guided by them, although the struggle for equality of men and women at the state level is conducted for twenty years.

But the results show it is still there. Gender stereotypes in Sweden are much weaker than in most European countries.

Breakthrough step in this sense was the introduction in 2002 of “paternal” leave to care for a child.

General child care in Sweden is paid for 480 days. At this time, the parent taking leave receive 80% of his salary — the money paid by the state, plus the company where he works, also he can pay, so some parents will receive his entire salary entirely.

Every parent is assigned a mandatory 90 days. Mom can’t get dad’s 90 days. That is, it can, but they will not be paid. They will pay only to the Pope. This is a very strong argument in favour of the Pope took his 90 days. On average, Swedish fathers in leave for child care spend 97 days, women 334.

Daniel Gustavsson, a civil servant, is now on leave with her third child, eight-month-old Nina. We talked to him in a cafe, over lunch. Daniel took Nina out of the stroller, put him on a high chair. She sat quietly and looked around, then reached out for his bottle of water, he gave her hands a bottle, drank it, threw the bottle on the floor, Daniel raised — she cheated again, he looked up again, pulled from the backpack a banana, cleaned, picked up a spoon, began to gently scrape her banana and little by little to feed Nina the fact that describles.

He did all of this completely automatically, at the same time telling how he was left for a vacation with his sons, and they were awfully energetic, never sitting in one place, and Nina is sitting, it’s amazing, he thought, he never will have such a quiet baby, but wow, it worked.

“What do you think is most difficult?” — I asked. Daniel said he difficult to put the baby to sleep. Rock.

I was interested in going with him at times, fatigue, depression, irritation. After all, when you sit with this baby, we have to do only what he needs. On itself does not remain neither forces, nor time, become like some kind of furniture or tool. The woman is hard, and the man, probably even more so.

Daniel said: sometimes, when sitting with the eldest son. But then his friends also sat with the kids, so they all went for a walk, hang out, and it brightened up the daily routine. And now he is all fine: Nina calm, sometimes he can work with.

Daniel’s wife. Not her husband. And the first also had a wife, but they divorced. Their two sons (7 and 5 years) live for two weeks her two weeks with him. The new wife also have a son, he too lives on the line with mom, then with dad.

“I have a great relationship with his sons, says Daniel. — Understand each other perfectly. We are true friends. I think this is due to the fact that I was nursing.”

A three-month leave to care for a child takes the majority of Swedish men. Not everyone wants, but life forces. With the child all the same someone must be home to at least. If the Pope will not take these months — the family will lose money in these three months could make mother. And money is always needed. Therefore, parents with prams is an integral part of the Swedish urban landscape.

Boys and girls play the same games, wear the same clothes, and educators instead of “he” and “she” you say “friend”
and “friends”.

■ ■ ■

Unlike adults, children have no stereotypes. To with age they are not formed, the need for such kindergartens, as the “Nicolaigarden”. There can be from the beginning to raise children free from the constraints that impose on a person’s gender, religion, origin, physiological characteristics, expectations of parents and teachers.

“Every child should have access to all that life offers — all activities, feelings, games, role… Everyone has the right to play different roles and be different at different times,” explains Lotta, Rajalin the main principle of the kindergarten “Nicolaigarden”.

Here do not give children characteristics. Do not write in any “category”. Do not praise as we praise: “how beautiful you drew a picture, you have a lot of imagination,” “how high you climbed a tree, you are very clever”, “thanks for bringing me plates, you’re a very good helper”…

It is believed that the children perceive these words as something binding. Told him that he is clever, is all he now should always be nimble. He was in the frame. And it is wrong, the framework should not be.

“Some people think we have something to take away so children — teacher says Gabriella Martinson. — In boys, for example, their “maliciously”. From this education they will not be able to play football or with cars. But it’s not. We have no one does not pick up. We, on the contrary, add.

Traditional training teaches children that it is one thing to be a boy. That is one way. Being a girl is another way. Your games, lessons, emotions, demeanor, clothing, predefined themes if you are a boy or a girl. The other half of the toys and activities — not for you.

And we offer the baby everything. That each child could choose from the whole life spectrum, not just the half”.

Education in the spirit of gender equality “Nicolaigarden” in the end of 90-ies. No special observations of their subsequent life is not conducted, so no one knows how such education affects their fate. But the first time when they move from kindergarten to school — contacts with their parents and new teachers continues. “Compared to graduates of conventional kindergartens our children a more tolerant, free and independent, — the Lotte. They choose with whom to play, the same interests, and not by the color of their skin. Teachers say they are more confident. More bet otherwise think.”

Of course, such an unusual upbringing is not like all. The opponents he has in Sweden and in other countries.

Lotta, Rialin receives anonymous threats in the mail. Mostly from Russia, she says. From Germany a lot, too. And even the Swedes themselves are.

Before the threat associated with non-traditional orientation, which supposedly inculcated in kindergarten. Now she often threatened because the children of immigrants. Before accused that she has a stash of gay, now that she’s Muslim servants…

Not so long ago planted at the door of the kindergarten bundle. Lotta called the police. In the parcel were two dolls. On one was written: “This white boy”. On the other: “That white girl”.

Followers of “Nicolaigarden” is also available. In Stockholm, however, there is not much interest in kindergartens. But in other Swedish cities some institutions adopt educational methods “Nicolaigarden”. In addition to Sweden the same day care was available in Spain and Iceland.

P. S. last week it became known that Sweden topped the ranking of EU countries according to indicators of gender equality. In 2017 she has achieved the best results, ahead of Denmark, Finland and the Netherlands. The rating Greece, Hungary and Slovakia, where gender equality is not very good.

Russia in this rating not because we are not members of the European Union. Many of our readers will here add: fortunately. But we this conclusion will not do.

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