From love to hate one step. Best of all this old adage know divorced spouses and children on the front line between the warring parents.
To take away their children, deny them to see other relatives — the most vile of all ways of revenge. It is the most popular in our country. And, unfortunately, the law does not provide for any mechanisms to curb or punishment for such parents usurpers.
The tragedy of the sisters Strunnyh (name changed — Ed.) — vivid proof.
photo: From personal archive
Nasty daughters were still together and happy.
Sonia Katie and many loving relatives in Moscow and in the suburbs. But mom and dad still have grandparents, uncle, aunts, and they all love sociable sisters. Five days a week, the girls lived with mother Anastasia Strunino and her parents in Moscow, and on the weekend went to my dad and other grandparents in the Moscow region to the country.
This lasted until 21 November 2016, when their father Eugene Strunin suddenly decided that now his daughter will live with him in the suburbs. However, he changed not only the place of residence of the children, but their entire way of life. Henceforth his life was no place for the mother of the girls for their Moscow relatives and friends. Even at school, where he studied the sisters, since they had not seen.
From Moscow to the Moscow region Fryazino only 20 kilometers, but the kids like the pool has sunk. Eleven months continually no searches brought no results, the girls ‘ phone not respond at that point the authorities in response to dozens of letters and requests of the mother, the child’s place of residence to locate her and fails.
Courts, lawyers, the police, prosecutors and even the Investigative Committee of the Russian Federation with a request to take action and to return to her children, or at least help to see them also did not help. The woman, distraught — she still doesn’t know where her daughter is healthy or they who care for them, like in school. And most importantly — when it will once again be able to see them?
The standard “kopeck piece” in the North-East of Moscow: in one room lived Sonia and Katya with her mother, the other with grandparents. Perhaps they five of us were cramped in this apartment, especially the sisters often came friends. But here now oppressive silence. Bunk beds girls sad plush animals, long about of the Desk, two ergonomic chairs, it is clear that the mother worried that children have the correct posture. But who now reminds them not to stallis for lessons?
According to Anastasia, her ex-husband never bothered about such trifles.
“After the divorce we signed the notary agreement that the children live with me and spend the weekend with him. But sometimes it happened that the daughter at the end of the week, I felt bad, then I asked Eugene to leave the girls in Moscow, so they finally started to ache. But he always firmly stood his ground. Once, I told in kindergarten and went to school — hence, for me to go you can.”
Missed birthdays of friends, delayed visits to doctors, absenteeism in the theatre Studio girls and their mothers had to agree to many inconveniences, because the father was not going to compromise and required to strictly follow the schedule of their meetings with children. Once Anastasia tried to oppose such strict dictatorship, closed with the children in the apartment and didn’t want to open the door of her ex-husband, but he just was not broke. And only the arrival of the police, which caused the neighbors to reassure him.
But how would the parents may conflict with each other, daughter still loved them both and of course enjoyed the visits to the Pope to the country. It was possible to play with a kitten — in the Moscow apartment of the animals to keep conditions do not allow — and forget about the lessons with your mother especially not relax. And sister became good friends with the son of the new girlfriend of the father. A boy two years older than Sonia, almost a teenager, and girls all over tried to imitate him.
What prevented parents Sonia and Katie to keep a fragile truce, why three years after the divorce, the father suddenly took the children in the suburbs and not allowing the mother to even see them?
Version of Eugenia, the daughter chose not to, he just fulfilled their will. Blame, he argues, the conflict nature of his former wife. It is, they say, with all the scandals and even dissolve hands, on her own mother and she complains, the girls Anastasia was also strict. So he had to take the children to live.
Anastasia all charges husband denies and believes that daughters Eugene kidnapped her to get revenge for losing the court for alimony. In the aforementioned notarial agreement was another important point, and he touched the money. Eugene had every month to give her children for 40 thousand rubles, but, according to Nasti, did not. When the debt amounted to 600 thousand rubles, the former wife filed a lawsuit and won the case. After that, the land owned by Eugene, was seized, and he himself was forbidden to travel abroad. It was after this humiliation, says Anastasia, proud of Eugene decided in that whatever was to settle scores with his ex-wife.
photo: From personal archive
With her husband Eugene.
Could the two little girls suddenly, for no reason at all to hate the mother? Even the children of alcoholics who are deprived of parental rights, my dream is to go back to deadbeat mothers. What happened with Sonia and Kate, which, on the contrary, the mother is not torn.
Recently Anastasia finally learned that girls went to school almost all of last school year, they are at the whim of the father had homeschooled. She had great work to get a meeting with them at school, but when she brought daughters are not only not happy mom, on the contrary, as if frightened by her. Kate even cried. And the father, who immediately arrived at the signal, teachers, interpreted in their favor: you see, he said later, I’m not kidding — kids don’t want to deal with her mother,
So what actually was the reason for such a strange reaction daughters do their father’s right and all because of the contentious nature of his ex-wife? To find the answers to these questions, had to spend the whole investigative journalism, to talk with many people from the surrounding family Strunnyh. But now I know which parent each of their children, and who is just pretending to be them.
First on my list were the parents of Anastasia. After all, according to Eugene, his ex-wife with them, too, in a quarrel, she raised a hand even your mother, because and girls ran away from that house, they could no longer stand the terrible scandals between her mother and grandmother. But it turned out that Eugene tells only part of the truth.
“When she had moved after the divorce to the girls, the atmosphere in the house was tense to the limit is true. And we really fought a lot, — says her mother Irina Igorevna. — But do not blame my daughter and son-in-law Eugene. He kicked them out of the new hundred-meter apartment in Mytishchi, did not give her money for children. I saw Nastya becomes exhausted: and at work I had time, and children to do, and he just put her a new ultimatum. Here though whose nerves will not stand!”
Strange thing is, on the one hand — a loving caring father, with the other put his wife and children out of the house. According to Anastasia, at that time they weren’t even yet divorced. But to argue with her husband was useless, he was accustomed to solve all issues on its own.
“I’ll never forget how Kate was crying when he came the first buyers, the daughter no one wanted to put in my room, stood in the doorway and not move. I, too, almost crying, because in this apartment, so much of my effort and money was invested. I’m all premiums that are earned and given to her husband in the common Fund and the loan taken. But to sue he had nothing, he flat when bought, as a precaution for his mother issued, and I then still was young, stupid, not thinking, than it can threaten me in case of divorce,” sighs Anastasia.
photo: From personal archive
In an empty nursery, all reminiscent of the subsidiaries.
Mother’s, father’s daughter
Anastasia admits that she may not be the prettiest daughter and wife, but the reproach of her husband that she was a bad mother, the woman strongly denies. But could she excessive severity or unstable character to alienate the children?
All who knew the sisters well Stroynyh — and it is primarily teachers in the school and in the kindergarten, where he was the girls say otherwise. Nastia with her daughters was very tender relationship.
Senior Sonia is a quiet, plodding. Junior Kate — fidget, a real lighter. In kindergarten she’s among friends was one of the boys says the girl’s teacher Olga Petrovna. But as sisters may differ in character from each other, the mother they loved equally and in all tried to imitate her.
“Girls were always beautifully dressed. Nastia — great taste, and her daughters, she also bought expensive clothes, stylish accessories — so girls stand out from peers. Affluent children can be seen immediately,” says the mother of a boy who in kindergarten was friends with Strunino, in addition, they went together to the theater Studio. So both sisters and their mother knows Hope well. She never admits that the daughter was afraid of Nasty. “What do you mean — it was true mother’s daughter, but Kate especially. Even scary to think that they could happen during the separation with the mother, if it’s so different!”
“Anastasia correctly raised a daughter, loved, but not spoiled, — continues the theme of parental relations Olga Petrovna. Girls understand what you can and cannot do, and not capricious if the mother is something they were not allowed, but the Pope, felt, used to manipulate children. Generally, he is able to win people, to put pressure on the pity — he has such a trait. I remember coming to kindergarten, talk with Kate five minutes, you will promise her everything and leaves. And caregivers explains that he was forced to see his daughter in secret, because the wife is against it. Apparently, it is the same policy led to the school where she studied girls. But Anastasia to him and the children to communicate not interfere with the well is seen one of the parents behaves like. Masha, for example, the father stretched, but I much zeal not seen — sit 5-10 minutes and it is gone. And the mother put the children all forces, although it had a lot of work, but it is still their in my class drove to the tutor in the English language.”
Natalia Fedorovna, the head teacher of the school where last year there were two daughters, Anastasia, know their mother very long ago, when she was studying in this school. The teacher remembers that Anastasia was a very able student, where everything came easy, but she’s never conceited.
“She loved her classmates, she was a true leader in the school, and I was not surprised that she made such a successful career after graduation. Many times saw, how she said goodbye to the girls in the morning at school, sending them to class. It was evident that they share a very warm relationship. The girls hung on to his mother, kissed her before going to class,” says the head teacher.
Somehow not tally all these reviews about Anastasia as a loving, caring mother with the accusations of her former husband that their own children are afraid to live with it.
To clarify the situation I asked of Eugene. However, he refused to talk: “we Have a closed trial, no information I disclose are not eligible. And the fact that Anastasia is not seen with children it has its own reasons”.
In fact, at the last hearing in the Moscow regional court the journalists were allowed to attend in person, so Eugene again not telling the truth. In General, bark-bast, start from the beginning…
photo: From personal archive
So Nastya has to break to meet the children.
Now many friends of Anastasia Strunino sincerely wonder how such a beautiful and smart could marry Eugene? On account of its successful career in a solid company that specialises in organising international trade fairs, it is the position of the driver-forwarding agent with the firm on installation of plastic Windows with a salary of 12,000 rubles per month. If here to add the fact that Strunin repeatedly came into the view of law enforcement, in particular in connection with the infliction of harm to health of average weight and threat to the life, do not understand how the judge could make a decision about a place to stay with kids? What he taught them? And what will feed and clothe them, if he is obliged by court order half of the salary in 12 thousand to list the former spouse in payment of a debt for alimony? The calculation is simple: taking children Eugene will not be required to pay alimony, on the contrary, he will be able to claim them with his wife.
With the actual residence of the children is also not clear. According to some documents obtained by Anastasia from custody Shchelkovo district, they live together with his father, his common-law wife and her son in a rented apartment, according to others in the country, in a house that is on the arrested land, by the way, no home is not officially registered. Therefore, girls continue to be written with my mother in a Moscow apartment.
“We were in this SNT where Eugene cottage — terrible place, around some of the shacks are, they are migrant workers. There just the wheels left the road, and solid lines, how can we live?” perplexed Tamara Lukyanenko, head of the Department, which is Anastasia. Together they went to find Nastiny children. But neither sympathy nor assistance from local law enforcement city Fryazino not achieved.
According to Tamara, Eugene feels a mutual responsibility in his native town and behaves with his ex-wife brazenly. “I asked, let Nastia go see the kids, she will soon go mad from grief, and he only grins in response: no, she will not see them anymore!”.
Very different, white and fluffy, he appears at the meeting of the Commission on juvenile Affairs (KDN) Shchelkovo district, which is specially convened in September to decide how to help Anastasia to see her kids. There he again talked about how he was Nasty rude, aggressive, that children do not want to live with her, afraid of her. And he doesn’t want to pressure them and so on and so forth. Speech Eugene sounded so sincerely and convincingly that even I began to doubt, although I know, it seems, is all about this person.
But his charm and softness immediately came off as soon as it became clear that not all participants located him implicitly to believe. Some members of the CLN felt that the father still abuse their position and prevent the meetings of children with the mother.
Court of the city of Shchyolkovo made a decision about the place of residence of daughters along with Eugene, but in the Moscow regional court will examine the appeal of Anastasia. And even if the court decision of first instance shall remain in full force and the girls will live with the father, no one can deny the right loving, caring mother to participate in the education of their children. However, while the court Yes business, girls continue to live in separation from Nastya. Normal this situation is not called, no wonder that the two sisters, there are serious neurological problems, they need the help of doctors. And parents it is also necessary. Therefore, at a meeting of KDN, it was decided to send the whole family Strunnyh for a consultation at a local psychological center to them worked experts.
And that was almost a month since then. And nothing in the life of Sonia and Katia has not changed. Anastasia still did not see their children, Eugene refuses to take them to a meeting with the mother, even in the presence of psychologists.
How you can still affect the parent who has usurped all rights to the kids? After the tragedy of the sisters Strunnyh not so rare in our country. Recently, even at the all-Russian forum of specialists on child-parent relationships seriously discussed, not to introduce any criminal liability for what one parent prevents the other from communicating with the children. Maybe someday it will. Or we will come to the practice of juvenile justice, which is widely used in Western countries. There if parents cannot share a child, it to time determine in shelter or foster care.
It would be better for the children who have relatives mom and dad?
Review of Advisor to the Ombudsman for children under the President of the Russian Federation Gulnara PACKING:
— Problems concerning disputes between parents after divorce, stand today very sharply. It also shows steady growth of references of citizens to address the commissioners for children’s rights — both Federal and regional.
The main problem is that there is no uniform interpretation of how to apply the norms of family and administrative law in the settlement of disputes related to the rights and duties of parents. Many former spouses are unable to agree among themselves and solve pressing issues through the courts. Another important factor — there is practically no mediation, there is no practice of pre-judicial settlement of such disputes. It becomes widespread.
Family Strunnyh just a vivid example of the foregoing. The mother of a minor of Sophia and Catherine turned to our unit for trial on the issue of further places of residence of the subsidiaries. The decision of the city court of 2 June 2017 place of residence of children was defined with her father. To date, it has not entered into force. As follows from the mother documents her right to communicate with his daughters violated on the part of the children’s father. In this regard, the Commissioner for children’s rights under the President of the Russian Federation Anna Kuznetsova have sent appeals to the relevant agencies — the Commission on Affairs of minors and guardianship of the city of Shchelkovo. After which was held an extraordinary meeting with all departments. I attended personally.
The picture is this: the father does not see the mother with the girls, and he, in turn, refers to the fact that children do not want to communicate with my mom. Here is the letter of the law is powerless to understand this situation can only be a psychologist, because it is difficult to say whether girls have such a position or it has developed under the influence of his father and other relatives from his side. Therefore, we recommended that the bodies of guardianship and guardianship to provide all parties to the conflict psychological assistance to restore parent-child relationship and protect the rights of minors. Ideally, the work should be carried out spot: separately by mother, father and each of the subsidiaries. We will keep the situation in this family under control.
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